Hi Ranty Nation!  Ranty McRantyson har agin!

In mah last Back to Basics (B2B) talk, ah talked bout unions an why union’s’re a gud an necessary thang fur regular folk.  Specially wit all the anti-union propaganda goin on in the media an in politics.

In this B2B talk, ah want to jaw a bit more bout how much money a billion dollars actually is.  Instead of talkin bout how much space it takes up or how long regular folk’d have to wurk to actually make a billion dollars, ah’m gonna take a differnt approach…  Can sumone, fur real, spend a billion dollars?!?

Ah wanna be clear bout this.  Ah’m not talkin bout “spendin” money on stocks cuz when y’all buy stocks, them stocks (purty much) still be wurth whut y’all spent on them.  Ah’m talkin bout whut y’all can spend on stuff that really ain’t wurth nuttin after’n y’all use it fur a bit.  Well, at least it goes down a lot in value, not up.  If’n it cud go up, then it’s whut financial folk call an “investment” an that ain’t whut ah’m talkin bout.

How Long Wud It Take to SPEND $1 Billion?

Fur this one, ah’m gonna “borrow” frum one of my favorite movies when ah was a youngun, “Brewster’s Millions“.  Ah’d highly recommend it if’n y’all ain’t seen it yet (1985 wit Richard Pryor an John Candy).  It’s the sixth of it’s name (if’n y’all include the “Miss Brewster’s Millions“).

In Brewster’s Millions, a feller found out he had an unknown uncle who was leaving him bout $330 million dollars.  The catch was that he dun have to spend $30 million in one month an not have none of that money left over (no houses, cars, an such like).  AN he couldn’t tell no one whut he was doin.  In other wurds, he dun have to waste that money (an he couldn’t give more’n 10% of it away to charities/friends/an so on) to git his full inheritance of $300 million!

Whut’s differnt Tween “Brewster’s Millions” an Real Life

The movie is fun an all, but it didn’t really touch much on one important detail, specially if’n y’all were to try to spend $1 billion… interest!

Now, ah know what y’all’re thunkin!  “Ranty, of course, he dun be interested in gittin his full inheritance!  Duh!”  No, not “interest” as in, yur interested, but interest like whut banks an such-like’ll pay y’all to save yur money wit them!

Investin Yur Money to Git Even More

Y’see, fur “We, the People”, we dun git like 0.1% (standard savins account) to up to bout 1% interest on our savins (1 year CD rates) now in 2021, dependin on how much we dun have (probly not a lot).  But fur rich folk, they dun expect to git 5-10% (or more) interest on they’s money, specially if’n they have $1 billion.

So let’s do sum more mathimacation an tell a story: (using 5%, keepin in mind that the numbers be double at 10%!)

Let’s say y’all git $1 billion in cash fur the lottery.  Yippee!  An y’all decide to invest it so ya kin git sum interest.

$1 billion times 5% (.05) = $50 million per year in interest.  Ever year.  At least that much.  Plus the $1 billion y’all started wit.  “Interested” yet?

Spendin Yur Money, But Don’t Furgit the Interest!

Y’all decide to spend sum money on a new house.  Keepin in mind that buyin a house is just tradin the cash fur sumthin else that is wurth the same amount of money.  It’s not like we’all’ll jus pretend we’re gonna burn up everthin at the end of each year.  Cuz we’all’re tryin to spend (waste) the money, not invest it in sumthin else!

Anyhoo, y’all start wit the crazy idea y’all’ll go out on the town an eat out ever night an have a gud time, all year long.  An let’s say that’ll cost y’all bout $1 million (that’s bout $2,700 ever night fur dinner!).

Then y’all decide to go wild an spend almost all the interest we jus got, $45 million, on a new house!  Whoowhee!  That’s gonna be one nice house!  But we still got us $4 million to spend.

But y’all need a new car, amiright?  So let’s say y’all decide to buy the nicest car ya ever heard of, an it cost $3 million (dang nice car an probly gold plated, too!).  But y’all still got $1 million to spend an it’s gittin close to the end of the year.

So y’all decide to have a great vacation an buy all y’all’s friends sum great Christmas presents an have one humdinger of a New Year’s Eve party an then dun burn everthin up!  Whew!  Y’all dun spent that entire $50 million!  Finally…

Cept, cha-ching!  It’s a new year an y’all just got another $50 million an ya ain’t even spent a dime of the original $1 billion ya started wit!  Can ya see the problem?

Why “Spendin” Yur Money Like That Jus Ain’t Realistic

This example, while gud at showin how difficult it is to spend even $50 million, jus ain’t all that realistic.

Y’know y’all ain’t gonna burn up everthin ya bought at the end of the year.  So that house, barrin a market crash or sumthin is probly gonna be wurth at least as much as y’all paid fur it.  Well, so long as ya paid the current “market price” fur it.  Same wit the car.  At wurst, it’ll be wurth at least half as much as y’all paid fur it.

So outta the original $50 million, ya really only spent bout $50 million – $45 million (value of house after furst year) – $1.5 million (value of car after furst year) – $1 million (food) – $1 million (New Year’s Eve Party) = “only” spent $5.5 million ($50 million – $45 million – $1.5 million – $1 million – $1 million = $5.5 million).

That means at the end of the furst year, ya still have assets (a nutter wurd fur money) wurth at least $44.5 million.  An now y’all jus got another $50 million dollars.  On top of the $1 billion y’all started wit.  That means y’all now have $1,094,500,000… after the furst year of “spendin”.

Durn it all!  Now we’all’ve got almost $100 million more’n we started out the year wit!

Ah thunk y’all can probly see that ya jus can’t realisticly spend $1 billion.  Havin even “jus” $1 billion means y’all’re rich fur life an y’all’s kids an theys kids’ll probly be rich fur life, too.

The Bottom Line (Billion Dollar Spendin Edition)

Gud as this example is, it ignores one important fact bout rich folk.  The way rich folk git rich is that they don’t spend they’s money, they invest (save) it!  Don’t git me wrong, rich folk can make stoopid investin decisions jus like us regular folk.  But losin they’s money in the stock market, or such like, ain’t whut ah’m talkin bout.

Fact is, y’all shudn’t feel sorry fur most of the top .1% folk.  They don’t need yur pity or sorrow.  Specially not bout them gittin taxed an such.  Even if’n they’s taxes were to double, they’d still be stoopid rich an have enuf fur a lifetime (or a dozen).

Agin, fact is, they’s got rich by takin a lot of money frum the hard wurkin regular folk who dun earned they’s pay.  Takin it cuz them hard wurkin employees ain’t gittin paid they’s fair share!

Ah dun thunk ah’ve bout covered everthang bout money that ah need to in this B2B series.  Ah’ve still got ideas fur whut to write bout in it, but ah thunk ah’ve got money covered… at least fur now.

So, til next time!

Ranty McRantyson signin off!

PS. Ah’ve still got sum stuff bout income inequality to talk bout.  If’n y’all have sum ideas bout whut y’all’d like me to talk bout, then feel free to leave a comment below!

PPS.  [2021-07-05]  Now that y’all have an idea bout whut it’d be like to be a billionaire, y’all might thunk y’all’d have an idea bout billionaires.  Problem is, it’s hard to imagine that they’s differnt ranks in billionaires.  To git a better feelin fur this, har’s a video y’all might like to watch: